Is something so disgusting that it should not be disallowed to mingle with the rest of a genre? This is something I have constantly shook my head at because it's ridiculous in the way it is usually approached by the person bringing it up. Very rarely is the subject weighed against any possible offense to something you may enjoy that another finds completely despicable.
This is the example I always use because it happened to me as a 3rd party involved.
An avatar on Second Life was posed as a statue that was caught within mid masturbation. A person approached me and told me that this was both disgusting and offensive and wished them to be removed. The person that said it to me was in a male furry avatar wearing both a dress and a dirty diaper.
I was at a loss for words really. I remember just blinking with my fingers hovering over the key board. I really did not know how to respond to this. I had often been criticized for allowing males and furry avatars to be placed and I staunchly defended them because I felt no one has the write to dictate "taste" onto another person's likes, especially in an arena where I was promoting as much freedom as possible. I finally had to respond by saying that they were free to leave if it bothered them but I would like them to respect this other persons likes. This was not good enough for them. It became an immediate attack on decency. I finally could bare no more of this round about conversation. Because indeed this person had been the subject of around a good baker's dozen worth of complaints. I had avoided telling them or really any people I had received complaints about because I was the admin there and all problems would be addressed and handled by me. I simply said that if your going to judge then you need to be ready to be judged yourself.
The above analogy is pretty much part of a larger issue that I see in a lot of the erotic genres. A person has no issue delving into something that they enjoy yet feels totally inclined to be outraged when someone else does it with something they dislike. The biggest 2 kids on the block for this is death and rape.
This is where I take my stance. I am a total supporter of fantasy and letting a person delve and enjoy in fantasies with the clear cut thought of, "This is a flight of fancy." Both murder and rape are horrific incidences that do not need me to drone on about. I think almost all can agree on this, and if not, then I will be straight forward and ask you to just leave now. I am not gonna waste my time defining what entitles either murder or rape, because a sensible human being will know.
But I can not deny there is a large number of people who find both genres within the erotic community to be extremely sexually appealing. If you said eww to either of those then again just leave. I am not trying to sway anyone as to the merits of either just illuminate on a hypocritical stance. Another small anecdote is when a vore themed parcel once moved in next to my own on Second Life. A person I lived with was completely out raged at such a gross thing was there and was asking to have it removed. Here we were engaged in some straight up hard core same sex bondage and this person was on the war path that such a disgusting practice was being perpetrated without any regard to how they may have felt about us. No discussion on what was or was not acceptable to them and the community as a whole. "They do something I hate, they need to be gone." Not to say that a person can not find these things to be an affront to their sensibilities. It is the complete failure to accept that they are allowed to exist.
The biggest cry of foul is usually leveled against the death involved fetishes. You will hear people level the "gross" word at it and say it's disgusting and at times that it should not be allowed because it promotes something morally reprehensible. Those same people almost uniformly are totally turned on by rape and brutalization. They will often use the term force play. Because the R word is often not used, but lets consult a dictionary on this. Without just copy and pasting it and trying to keep it to the least sexual meaning it basically means doing anything by force without consent. I have no problem with people using less stigma associated words but a duck is a duck even when called a water fowl regardless of how broad the term is.
Again nothing against the fantastical enjoyment of said acts as long as they are regulated to the space of pure fancy. I just do not understand how anything can be looked down upon and decried by saying it has no place. When it obviously HAS a place. By the simple fact that more then one person enjoys it and it bleeds into different genres that is a undeniable fact. It is arguable whether at a specific time or place it is acceptable but that can be leveled at anything. Because you can take something that is completely seen as innocent and it could be viewed as not having a place in eroticism. Such as tickling. How you may ask? Try tickling someone who hates being tickled during sex once and see how they react. I can almost promise you they feel it has no place during it.
What the real issue I am trying to hint upon is the lack of acceptance that there will be others who have ideas and likes that may be the complete opposite of what you believe in or stand for. You don't have to engage in them, you don't have to like them, you can even talk smack about them. You just have to accept that there are others out there who do and that as long as they practice it in ways that do not infringe upon your own personal freedoms then there is no real big deal that they do. And don't give me the "I have to see it or know about it is enough." Sorry you had your intellectual box a little dinged up, but think about it as a practice in getting over it. Because when we limit those erotic enjoyments for others. We just are setting ourselves up to have our own tastes stepped upon in a similar manner.